I am at the scariest place in my life right now, I made choices I had no need to made and the results of the choices will shape the rest of my life. As I am typing this the words "How Did I Get Here" are going through my mind and it seems to run across my mind on a daily. I really wanted to make something out of this situation not negative though something positive, I wanted to love you, I wanted to fall in love with you. I wanted to open your eyes to new things and vice verse. I really dont understand how we got here, or maybe I cant understand how I got here. Ya thats it I cant understand how I got here. How did I end up like the rest when I said Id always do better because I deserved better and now I am awaiting the day, pretty much the biggest day of my life, awaiting to see where my future will go from here. What will happen next because this all will shape the rest of my life. You see you didnt take care of the rest so why would you start now? I dont expect anything from you, just because I seen you in action, I see how you play, what you do and how you move. I was a victim of your games but no longer will I fall in that category. I truly wanted to love you, fall in love with you and see where things could go.. But yet here we are right where we started, you sneaking to call, me wishing you never would call anyway. Me wishing you would disappear and you seem to be around even more. Feeling like I cant breath because I am scared to move, scared to think, scared to just B R E A T H. I wish I wasnt alone in this and by alone I mean I wish you would step up if it ends up the way I pray and hope it doesnt. Love is blindness and so painful at times, I want you to go, leave and dont turn away because sometimes I dont think I can leave because I am scared to keep moving and scared of you not chasing me.... Chase me, love me, PICK ME... Why would you bring me into a situation knowing that you already had a situation. Why cant you grow up and be a man, grow up and be a M A N! AHH i just want to scream...